I dream things that never were and say why not.
• There should be a country music song set in a diner based around the theme of “an achin’, beg and please sandwich.”
• People obsessed with NonSociety should form a fanclub, like Deadheads or Claymates, and call themselves Nonces. Can’t you see the t-shirts now? “I’m a nonce and I’m proud.” “Nonces live differently.” They could even support their particular favorite NonSociety blogger. “Nonce: Team Julia,” or “Nonce: Team The Other Girl,” or “Nonce: Team The Other Other Girl.” The possibilities are endless.
• Competitive shitting contests. Given the popularity of competitive eating contests, these things must exist, right? I’m sure, in some dank bathroom in a basement in Kew Gardens right now, an angry group of scruffy men of indeterminate ethnicity are passing dollars around based on which competitor just dropped the biggest duker. Anyway, total Will Ferrell movie plot, right?
• That’s all for now. Man, was Christmas ever productive for me.
