Alex Balk

Previewing tomorrow's feature.

For some reason I let Paige go on vacation, which means I’m in charge of editing features until she gets back. Which is fine. I mean, it is my job, right? It’s just that she left me with the vagina story to edit, so I’ve spent most of my morning up to my eyes in vaginas. Also, I wasn’t clear enough with the writer about how I wanted the vaginas arranged, so I’ve been frantically manipulating the vaginas so that they have a more natural vagina feel. To make matters worse, the piece initially felt a little loose, so I had to make the writer get me more vaginas. “I need more vaginas,” I yelled. (Unfortunately, some of the vaginas are almost identical to some of the other vaginas, and while I know I’ve always said you can’t have enough vaginas, sometimes you want different, unfamiliar vaginas.) Anyway, I’m worried that I lack the delicate touch to take care of the vaginas with the skills that vaginas like these deserve, but I think the underlying strength of the vaginas will overcome any vagina mishandling on my part, so I’ve passed it along to the art team, confident that while I still have a couple other stories to edit, at least I’ve rubbed this one out.