Alex Balk

Do I get to knock off the year of unemployment?

We were just wondering about how old someone we know is and I was like, “Well, he’s ten years older than me, so…” and it occurred to me that I was not exactly sure how old I am. I mean, I had the general vicinity, but I wasn’t entirely confident in the specific address. So I did the math.

It was not a good idea.

The bonus here is the "Gay Bed And Breakfast Of Terror" clip.

“It is a movie aware of its own awfulness—Von Trier practically admitted as much. This film was his therapy, and was made on a depression-addled whim. So when you take it on those terms, it actually does a few interesting things. Case in point: it’s not often you see a woman smash a penis on film. Most directors won’t go within a mile of penis-smashing (perhaps because 95% of them have penises themselves), and the ones that do usually steer clear of the full smash.”

Luke Mazur Pretty Much Always DESTROYS

“Scott used to wear a Phantom of the Opera costume whenever possible, which for a parochial school with a school uniform policy, meant he wore it only on special occasions. But on Mondays, when the Buffalo Bills were still a Superbowl-bound team, we could wear team gear, and our one teacher, Ms. Sherman, would let Scott wear his mask then. When Ms. Sherman left us for another school, Scott signed her going away card: ‘To Ms. Sherman, the love of my life.’”

Also, Intern Kaila! Yay!

“Geocities has existed for as long as I can remember the internet, providing free themed “neighborhood” space to users starting in 1995 and encouraging us to become technological “homesteaders.” It was a forerunner of blogs and social networking sites, bringing like-minded people together via link directories and webrings. At a very young age, and with a very slow modem, Geocities helped me make homepages and fan pages. It had me mucking around with HTML and its own creaky site-building tools. I was 13 years old, so it was the host of my anti-Dawson’s Creek screed, Dawson’s Creak, and later it made room for too many trashy stories—the kind where Mulder and Scully really, really like each other or Harry Potter’s broomstick needs tweaking. But it was the first way I learned to publish myself on the web.”