January 2009
Less successful gimmick websites.
Hipster Ruboff
Lick My Ass, Giraffe
Erection Fiesta
Postcards From Yolanda
Scumblr
Where are now your prophets which prophesied unto...
The weakest argument made for excessive earnings is that only by offering a fortune do you attract the right person. It should always have been obvious that that’s a truism which proves its very opposite. If it’s only the fortune that makes the job suitable for the man then the man is by definition unsuitable for the job. Even banking – the one place where the rapacity criterion might...
If only Liam Neeson hadn't been sleeping in on...
In “Taken,” retired CIA agent Liam Neeson’s daughter is kidnapped by an Albanian Muslim sex slavery ring in Paris. And while the movie doesn’t outright tell us they are Muslims, the filmmakers show us several quick close-up shots of tattoos on the hands of the men who head the ring–crescents and stars, the religious symbols of Islam.
Then, there are the people who “acquire” his daughter. They...
Twenty years on, Schoolly D's timeless question...
In response to a question from Human Events about how then-Sen. Barack Obama campaigned against him and called him an “amiable fellow” without much of a resume, [newly elected RNC Chair Michael] Steele pondered what he’d say to the president.
“I’d say congratulations, and I look forward to sparring with him. And then I’d say: How you like me now?”
Productivity.
Of course, it’s difficult to define exactly what it is, but I’m pretty sure that it’s not staring at the Internet and saying, “Damn you, new Lily Allen, leak already.”
It’s probably also not updating your Tumblr.
Here’s one for the hopeless.
Everybody wants to get into the act.
“I’m happy to have participated in this process,” said Sen. James Meeks (D-Chicago). “Yeah, it’s unprecedented, but future generations will know that we have this thing called impeachment, and whenever any of our leaders, who are human beings like us, overstep the boundaries, the process is in place,” Meeks said. “We have this thing called impeachment and...
The Rack gives back. →
From the back of a book I just got in the mail
leoncrawl:
There is something about Lux. He’s a thief and a liar; he is selfish and self-absorbed and hopelessly vain. But while he looks like Lana Turner and romances like a true Casanova, Lux is actually more like a bumbling, oblivious Mary Tyler Moore. Amid shouting mobs, police shields, and the hurled bricks of the ’80s Brixton riots, Lux is searching for Pearl—the love of his life. Her...
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Jason Calacanis IS Dante, in "Inferneto"
I feel I’m within my rights as pundit to reconstitute the idea of Asperger’s to explain my own experiences and thoughts. Although I’ll understand it if you, as someone affected in some way by Asperger’s, claim your right to flame me for “hijacking” the disease. Such is the life of linguists in the age of sound-bites over debate, and skimming over reading.
If you do choose to flame me, I’d ask...
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In defense of, uh, something. →
Self-appraisal.
There is something about dragging yourself from the bed in which you’ve been sweating out a fever and flu and putting on several layers of clothing, heavy boots, and a scarf so that you can climb out on the fire escape to smoke a cigarette that makes your throat feel like it’s getting a massage of broken glass and sandpaper which offers absolute proof, if such were needed, that you...
Hi, Paige! →
John Updike, "A&P" →
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...and I don't feel so good myself.
John Updike, Author, Dies at 76
Remember when they both had debut records coming...
They also served.
Not to take anything away from the woman herself, but this obituary of Constance Cook, who co-wrote New York’s groundbreaking law legalizing abortion, is especially poignant for this:
Attempts to loosen New York’s abortion prohibition had failed throughout the 1960s. Then, on March 18, 1970, after a raucous five-hour debate, the State Senate passed the Cook-Leichter bill, which contained no...
Honestly?
Why is everyone assuming that an Arrested Development movie would be any good? Wasn’t the whole genius of the show the way it played out over an extended arc, with all the callbacks and references that didn’t need to be crammed into a 97-minute motion picture?
Then again, I guess people said the same thing about Sex and the City, and look how that elevated cinema to new heights.
WatchDo not press play if you do not want this song stuck in your head for the next two days. Either way, have yourselves a weekend, kids!
“The circumstances that lead to a penile fracture are more exciting than...”
– “By mistake” my ass. Deskfuckers get what they deserve.
Thought experiment.
Were there ever a situation in which one was actually forced to make a decisive choice between the options “shit” or “go blind,” what possible scenario could exist to make blindness the preferred alternative?
“You start getting into a really weird, messy gray area when you look at...”
– Does it even matter what it’s from? There are so many layers to that sentence. Okay, fine, it’s from this.
"Four hours of the music from Factory Records... →
Yet another terrible Bush legacy for which...
Obama is inheriting all the old links from Bush’s biography to the term “miserable failure” because the link to his biography was swapped for Bush’s on the White House site on Inauguration Day. As a result, a search for “miserable failure” on Yahoo will likely yield Obama’s biography, and on Google, a search for “failure” will do the same.
Uh, let me count the ways.
“’We expressed our concerns about some of the spending that’s being proposed in the House bill,’ House Minority Leader John Boehner said after meeting with Obama.
‘How can you spend hundreds of millions of dollars on contraceptives?’ Boehner asked. ‘How does that stimulate the economy?‘”
Yeah, I'm wearing a flannel shirt. Suck it. I'm...
Signs it’s time for a diet: When you put on a flannel shirt, see yourself in the mirror, and think, “Dude, you look like the guy from Tad.”
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Great Moments In Journalism
“THE CRUSH WAS SO BAD THAT ‘NBC NIGHTLY NEWS’ RAN VIDEO OF THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT’S HEAD AS HE TALKED.”
But really, no one wants to see either.
“An appraisal on Saturday about John Mortimer, the writer who created the curmudgeonly London barrister Horace Rumpole, referred incorrectly to Mr. Mortimer’s view of atheists. An atheist himself, he hated public displays of atheism, not atheists.”
This is my life.
I am at a bar where Cracker’s “Low” just came on I started ROCKING OUT. Please, help me.
Lonely Is An Eyesore
