Welcome To My Nightmare
Related: Paige Ferrari to me, Nick,...
May 30th
Around the office.
Tyler’s leaving us today for Blender. In the eight months that I’ve been at Radar (I...
May 30th
Ask not.
If only this jackass had been around in 1960 to set us straight on how Kennedy hated America.
May 30th
Listen
May 30th
Did Scott McClellan Give Jeff Gannon...
All I did on this was the caption, but it’s kind of interesting.
May 29th
unbearablybalk: Why do I always have to be Miranda? Yeah,...
May 29th
The sense of nervous demurral comes through here, right?
May 29th
“Hey, it’s great to be here! But then again, the...
May 29th
Fuck you, cancer! Don’t make us get Ratner on your...
May 29th
Fucking Thursdays
I declare today “Half-Assed, Obvious Joke Day.” You know, moreso than usual.
May 29th
N.B. to Breslin
Going on volume alone you’d need to raise a couple mil minimum.
May 29th
Emily Gould (yes, that one) wrote today’s feature on...
May 29th
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May 29th
Still here.
Every morning I rise before dawn, stumbled bleary-eyed to the shower, get dressed, take my...
May 28th
Bush lied, books got buyed.
Sorry, this one took a lot out of me.
May 28th
May 28th
Angry Doree is my favorite Doree of all.
All this is missing is a “cuntrag.”
May 28th
Listen
May 28th
Yes, yes, go ahead.
May 27th
Never let them smell you sweat.
The A/C here is busted. As the world’s hairiest non-ursine mammal, I can assure you that this...
May 27th
It's pretty much a given that an article...
“Supreme Court: Law prohibits retaliation” will contain, somewhere within its body, the...
May 27th
Exit Music
Peter Carlson, whose Washington Post Magazine Reader column was often the only thing worth reading...
May 27th
My favorite line: “Let’s give the majority of...
May 27th
I almost forgot about this-era Madonna, which is kind of...
May 27th
Free advertising.
Good news, droopy! Those bodega boner pills really work!
May 27th
This is actually more extreme in the print edition, but...
May 27th
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Related. Someone wanna get the Jona Lewie revival started already?
May 27th
Sydney Pollack
It’s kind of stupid to be sad about the death of someone you never knew, but whatever, Tootsie...
May 27th
“The mild-mannered author of ‘Cuss Control’ faced his toughest audience yet in a...
May 26th
“I don’t believe either candidate meant it when they...”
— Al Sharpton, on Hillary...
— Al Sharpton, on Hillary...
May 26th
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May 26th
Okay, seriously? Time to head into the sunshine. Enjoy the...
May 25th
Okay, we get it, you want attention. Is this enough? Because...
May 25th
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May 25th
Conversations With Myself or Everything I Touch Runs Mild
May 24th
“No happy life is possible that has not an admixture of...”
— Howard Jacobson
— Howard Jacobson
May 24th
Blog like the fake pros!
Yesterday I was complaining about yet another indignity visited on me by the Internet:...
May 24th
“Governor David Paterson has pardoned Slick Rick....”
May 24th
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May 24th
Internet, I can't quit you.
I know, I know, we were all supposed to stay away, but I need to order some fat man pants and...
May 24th
The Year of Magical Drinking
One day it seemed important that I reread The Runaway Bunny. I had last read it in junior high for...
May 23rd
“I know she’s doing a fine job, but does it make me a sexist...”
— This sentiment is one that I...
— This sentiment is one that I...
May 23rd
Blog like the pros!
Almost any news item can be easily pegged to an earlier post, both driving additional traffic and...
May 23rd
Blog like the pros!
Readers love it when you interject personal information—it helps them feel connected to you.
May 23rd
Blog like the pros!
You do this job long enough you learn to embrace filler rather than struggle to overcome it....
May 23rd
A reader writes.
balk, as someone with a big audience and influence on the internets, you have an obligation to make...
May 23rd
May 23rd
Listen
May 23rd
Intern Kaila tumbls!
I command you all to follow.
May 22nd
¡Me gusta, me gusta!
How much do I love this? A fuckload.
May 22nd
That NYT article about Obama and the...
used the word “Jew” or “Jewish” 45 times. I counted.
May 22nd
UPDATE: Contrary to what you may have heard, this is not...
May 22nd
Listen
May 22nd
Hillary Clinton, Hero.
It’s time for everyone to shut the fuck up about Hillary Clinton and start giving her the...
May 21st
Okay, we get it, New Yorker, you’re better than...
May 21st
Next viral trend
Reaction videos from jurors forced to watch the R. Kelly sex tape
May 21st
I mean, I READ "The Economist," does...
When people ask me what skill is most vital for to building a career in blogging, I always tell them...
May 21st
Nikola Tamindzic IS "Snapper of the...
“My pictures suggest a story that happened before the shot and a story that hasn’t happened yet....
May 21st
Not exactly a ringin' endorsement.
“’Jimmy is a great guy,’ said Tracy Westmoreland, the owner of the dive bar Siberia, who...
May 21st
I am sorry I've been so selfish. How ARE...
“When you read Balk, you just think Balk is smart or funny. You don’t think about...
May 21st
Then and now.
“Some immediately called for Spitzer to resign. ‘He has to step down. No one will stand...
May 21st
May 21st
Listen
May 21st
Come ON.
May 20th
To anticipate your question
Yes, I am looking forward to this weekend’s New York Times Magazine. Apparently William Safire...
May 20th
If a major component of your job was...
GOV. PATERSON IN HOSPITAL WITH MIGRAINE
May 20th
Videographer/litterateur Richard Blakeley, whose way with the fairer sex has resulted in the...
May 20th
Is there anything Obama can’t do?
[Via]
May 20th
That's why they're called PRIMARIES.
Adding a new mathematical twist to her case for the Democratic presidential nomination, Senator...
May 20th
(via catbird)
May 20th
Apart from trying not to sexually harass people, the most...
May 20th
Listen
May 20th
DAMN YOU, PATTERSON! Now I may have to support my local...
May 20th
As an inveterate fan, I can only warn...
Buy this fucking book.
May 20th
The Best Of Fair Game
perpetua: Here’s the bad news, for me: Public Radio International canceled Fair Game with Faith...
May 20th
@meganrambin OMG OMG YOU'RE SO HOT I'M...
Thanks to everyone who wrote in to let me know that Julia Allison is now me. Consider this your...
May 20th
blakeley: I’m going to fuck this mushroom pizza Gawker...
May 20th
Watch
Cho: i feel like this video could blow up put it on your blog
Sure. I’ve clearly got no...
May 19th
I DO NOT want to live in the zip, okay?
The “CS” stands for cock sucking!
May 19th
Now THIS is appeasement.
“Hillary Clinton’s former campaign manager and confidante, Patti Solis Doyle, and Senator...
May 19th
As predicted…
May 19th
American Hangovers
Stephen Berg writes: “Jeez, Alex. The Lost Weekend by Charles R. Jackson; any Chandler, but...
May 19th
I'd do it, but I'm busy and lazy.
I just read that George Packer essay on the death of conservatism, which somehow manages to be both...
May 19th
The biggest surprise on Bush’s secret enemies list?...
May 19th
Change my life.
There he was, walking down the street: unshaven, carrying some extra weight, wearing an untucked...
May 19th
As a man grows older, etc.
Speaking of hangovers, I got astoundingly drunk on Friday. Not because of volume, but because I...
May 19th
Every day drinking.
Some words for hangover, like ours, refer prosaically to the cause: the Egyptians say they are...
May 19th
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May 19th
It’s adorable how long it’s taking right wing...
May 19th
Just happy to be here.
The Celtics are killing me. You’re playing in the Selma of the north; you’re not...
May 18th
I understand what he's trying to say,...
“To see Carter simply using reason and logic in discussions got me excited for...
May 18th
This does seem to be a practical and relatively efficient...
May 18th
Suggested titles for western-themed porn...
Hopaschlong Cassidy High Plains Fister The Ox-Blow Incident Buchanan Rides A Bone McCabe &...
May 18th
Guess who.
“the most despised and reviled franchise in all of contemporary American sport”
May 18th
You mean he has a gigantic cock, right?...
“What we hear is there is a certain feature of John that leaves Jen so pleased. The...
May 18th
Arise and walk.
Great, great, great Rob Walker piece on River West, a Chicago firm which aims to exploit the equity...
May 18th
Listen
May 18th
Yes, even I have Indiana fucking Jones stuck on the brain...
May 17th
“I mean no disrespect to handbags either, nor to seven-inch...”
— Howard Jacobson
— Howard Jacobson
May 17th
Listen
May 17th
You know what else might have helped...
“The question gets asked from time to time: why don’t Democrats abandon their...
May 16th
Seriously, unacceptable.
I’m wondering: Is the near-homicidal rage I feel towards people in front of me on line who...
May 16th
Butts in the butter.
Is this some kind of regionalism with which I’m unfamiliar, or did Peggy Noonan just come up...
May 16th
I am frankly ashamed to know even this much.
May 16th
File under “phrases I never thought I’d get to...
May 16th
Man, NOTHING is going right today and...
Suck my ass, week! I’m glad you die tonight.
May 16th
Dear New York Times,
“Just keep adding a shitload of...
May 16th
I can’t remember the exact quote now, but Hunter S....
May 16th
Listen
A lot of people think that this is kind of a frivolous, nonsensical song, but when you realize it’s...
May 16th
From the people who brought you "happy...
I had never heard of tombstoning before today. I can’t wait until the British start running...
May 15th
Friendship is...
when a pal sends you an personal essay of hers and it opens with the line “Jake and I would...
May 15th
Sudden realizations.
There hasn’t been any drilling upstairs in weeks. I kinda miss it.
May 15th
Re: that millennial essay...
Lanham should totally start selling a t-shirt that says “I got to do anal in high...
May 15th
...would be a good name for a band.
Rape Kit
May 15th
Paige wanted to call this one “Get Off My Lawn!”...
May 15th
Listen
May 15th
Pop quiz: Can you tell what product this is part of an...
May 14th
I know mine is.
“A little penis, it turns out, can be a dangerous thing.”
May 14th
Bad Lieutenant, Bad Idea.
“Nicolas Cage will star in an updated version of 1992’s “Bad Lieutenant”...
May 14th
Wisdom of UWS doorman actually proves...
“That gets thrown around like ‘hello’ and ‘good morning,’ ” said Omar Villaneuva, a doorman at 27...
May 14th
Yeah, I wasn't much different as a kid.
Wanna feel old? ”This months marks the 25th anniversary of “Return of the Jedi,”...
May 14th
keepinganotebook: My favorite part of this? How much...
May 14th
Just rambling at this point. I should...
In my darker moments I occasionally think that this administration has fucked up the country so...
May 14th
Every fucking morning I get fucked over by fucking WWD with...
May 14th
Because I'm a terrible manager, a...
Because I’m a terrible manager, I just got around to reading these rules for blogging that a...
May 14th
17 June 1998: Sinatra’s wife Barbara angrily denies...
May 14th
Couple of weeks ago the DVR did that thing it does where it tapes the end of a previous program and...
May 14th
“An art form should be judged by its best example, not...
May 14th
Listen
May 14th
Great Moments in Journalism
May 14th
Shocking.
Slightly less shocking when you actually, you...
May 13th
I wanted to call tomorrow’s feature “Because I...
May 13th
Then all he'll have to worry about is...
Fuck the flag lapel pin, Obama ought to start wearing a fucking cross.
May 13th
Presumably in the same way that Joel...
“‘The young kids think he’s the cat’s meow,’ says Caroline Hirsch,...
May 13th
Watch
maura: Classic Cafferty/Simmons in this Live at Five intro from 1983. There’s also this clip of Sue...
May 13th
Watch
Classic Sue Simmons interview, via.
May 13th
Whatever my reservations about Obama, I have to admit: Dude...
May 13th
The business of America is business.
I got a little ranty here, which I don’t ordinarily mind, but I’m extremely shaky this...
May 13th
(via reversecowgirl)
May 13th
The touching tale of a young boy's...
“I felt like my balls were the stars of their very own super sweet sixteen party. The rest of...
May 13th
The house I grew up in was an NBC news house. My folks would...
May 13th
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May 13th
I, too, am Chuck Bass.
Kidding! Who the fuck knows what’s happening on that show? But Jesus Christ, every single...
May 13th
“Balk is a semi-famous underground blogger whose entire...”
— Also drinking. My metier is...
— Also drinking. My metier is...
May 12th
Less chill, more shill.
In what’s clearly a first for Radar under my sorry-ass “leadership,” we somehow...
May 12th
Bangin' at Balmoral, by the Blairs
“Cherie Blair has revealed that her son Leo was conceived while she and her husband were...
May 12th
May 12th
“But Mr. McCain’s fondness for ‘The Office’ seems sincere. The next day he seemed...
May 12th
Listen
May 12th
Listen
“Please, don’t write in saying that’s sexist. It’s not.”
May 11th
Watch
Happy Mother’s Day from all your friends at alexbalk.tumblr.com.
May 11th
Outtakes
A couple of weeks ago we did an Q&A with the great composer John Williams in advance of the new...
May 10th
Listen
May 10th
Some days, you just don't care.
Can you guess what kind of day today is?
May 9th
Congressman Fossella: Obviously Not Gay
May 9th
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May 9th
“No celebrity does anything, really. Unless you’re a...”
— Spencer Pratt
— Spencer Pratt
May 9th
Overheard
“Well, c’mon, has anyone not fucked to Loveless?”
May 8th
Lazy Blacks For Obama
“‘I have a much broader base to build a winning coalition on,’ she said in an...
May 8th
May 8th
Listen
May 8th
Watch
I’ve gone on about this before, but whatever: Every time I see this PSA, there’s a...
May 8th
May 8th
The most underappreciated aspect of my...
is the subtlety.
May 7th
I love "(Pony Sex Game)." You know, just...
“There’s no question the titles are extreme: Laurie’s Toilet Show, Mako’s...
May 7th
Great lines have a thousand parents...
I stole a line from Emily Gould for this post. In my defense, it was just a terrific line, one I...
May 7th
Listen
May 7th
I'm trying hard not to see this as the...
“Obama’s win mirrored earlier triumphs in Southern states with large black populations:...
May 7th
“In a free society, with the rule of law and property rights,...”
— Every time someone tries to...
— Every time someone tries to...
May 6th
Or maybe I'm just extra surly today.
One of my oldest friends has an inexplicable aversion to people who peer down the subway tunnel to...
May 6th
Radar today
A hard-hitting analysis of what happens next after today’s primaries, and Hills star Spencer...
May 6th
May 6th
Twenty-two years later, the United States finally gets its...
May 6th
As a man grows older.
The men in my family, despite an apparent genetic predisposition to bad behavior, all tend to live...
May 6th
Pour a hot cup of brim, fill it to the...
I know the discussion generally centers around figures like E. “Yip” Harburg, Johnny...
May 6th
Listen
May 6th
We're one step closer to all the men in...
This may not be new, but I just noticed this weekend a couple of ads for competing lime-flavored...
May 5th
Yes, I KNOW "or eaten out."
Sigh. This day.
May 5th
“Where the heck is the ‘off’ switch on...
May 5th
It probably violates every single rule of search engine...
May 5th
Not about Kristin Bell specifically
Kristen Bell loves cooking breakfast naked. The 27-year-old actress - who stars alongside Russell...
May 5th
Listen
May 5th
Watch
Watch the one below first. And then, if you don’t know who he is, go look up Armando Iannucci....
May 4th
Watch
May 4th
Listen
May 4th
She’s evil! EVIL, I tells ya! Evil!
May 4th
elpasajero:
Pac-man, explained. via goonfleet.com
May 3rd
Listen
May 3rd
Well, that or "Jekyll & Hyde: Together...
All this talk about what a great movie Risky Business is—and it is—makes me ask once again: When the...
May 2nd
Fine, okay, I get it, Scarlett Johansson is hot. Also, I now...
May 2nd
Say what you will about her methods, but you’ve got to...
May 2nd
Watch
Little slow to the soiree on this one, but you know what? Fuck you. Seriously. I’m sick of...
May 2nd
“If a woman can make a livin’ just by havin’ a...”
— R.B. Katenapis
— R.B. Katenapis
May 2nd
Listen
May 2nd
Game over.
jessicacoen: This is why the internet exists. This is why we do it. Special-Needs Monkey...
May 1st
May 1st
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May 1st