Game over.
jessicacoen: This is why the internet exists. This is why we do it. Special-Needs Monkey...
May 1st
May 1st
Listen
May 1st
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… vaginas.
May 1st
If there's one thing we're good at in...
Most depressing line of the day: “The attention to Sen. Obama’s Christian church...
May 1st
Fuck you, Coen! Ellen Page is CUTE AS A...
Here’s the deal: You don’t make fun of my Ellen Page crush and I won’t tell anyone...
Apr 30th
“…and that’s when we decided that, for the...
Apr 30th
"So long, ya fetus-faced windbag."
BREAKING: Old people do not understand the Internet.
Apr 30th
Previewing tomorrow's feature.
For some reason I let Paige go on vacation, which means I’m in charge of editing features...
Apr 30th
I hope this doesn't give the citizens of...
People of Lesbos take gay group to court over term ‘Lesbian’
Apr 30th
Apr 30th
Normally I wouldn’t give a shit, but Lock’s like...
Apr 30th
"Elliot makes the speeches while I slave...
Can we all agree to spell it ‘vag’ from here on out? I understand the argument that the...
Apr 30th
Three good ones.
• Teenagers fuck. • Prince thinks you’re special. [Via] • Grand Theft Are You Fucking...
Apr 30th
Page Six: MYSTERY writer Carol Higgins Clark is being...
Apr 30th
Please don’t let me lose to that little bitch Gladwell.
Apr 30th
Listen
Apr 30th
Dear Jew. Start packing.
“On Monday night, the area around Rome’s city hall rang to chants of ‘Duce!...
Apr 29th
Would be a good name for a band.
“ Ronaldo and the transvestites were only questioned by police and voluntarily went to the...
Apr 29th
Postcards From Your Money
I’ve spent the last few weeks waiting for Doree and Jess to post the fake postcard from a fake...
Apr 29th
My sophisticated assesment of...
Renee: The best part of that Posner opinion is when he says that he’s sure the law will...
Apr 29th
Signs of my total lack of integrity,...
Tyler is of course absolutely right here, but my first thought was, “Fuck, we went cynical too...
Apr 29th
It would have been a disaster if he won...
because having two Democratic presidents in a row with massive recessions on their resumes would...
Apr 29th
Can we please just have the election...
New Yorkers may remember (or not: it was boring as fuck then and it’s boring as fuck now) the...
Apr 29th
Grand Theft Auto IV (out April 29) presents a mind-bendingly complex, obsessively detailed world...
Apr 29th
I'd like to fuck like Ralph Reed, but I...
“Talking with Ralph Reed about his new novel, Dark Horse (out June 4!), which is apparently...
Apr 29th
I used to be disgusted, but now I'm just...
The Indiana law was challenged in separate suits filed by the Indiana Democratic Party and by...
Apr 29th
Testify.
Either the guy is seriously into his savior or he possesses a sense of irony so highly refined...
Apr 29th
Listen
Apr 29th
Tim Noah does a great job of articulating what I tried to express earlier, which is that Peggy...
Apr 29th
Honest work.
My day has pretty much consisted of inserting the phrase “topless Miley Cyrus” into...
Apr 28th
Kinda dig this guy.
Rev. Jeremiah Wright at the National Press Club: QUESTION: Chris Rock joked, “Of course Reverend...
Apr 28th
Here comes the flood.
Just a thought: If gas prices stay as high as they are or rise even further, how many New York...
Apr 28th
Oh, thank God.
The drills are back. And for a minute there I worried that I might have to cope with sanity this...
Apr 28th
On the plus side, hey, looser slots!
Apr 28th
I Wept Because I Had No Woman Until I...
I was digging out an old Don Covay CD this weekend when I took a minute and noticed how many discs I...
Apr 28th
Apr 28th
Listen
Apr 28th
Listen
Apr 27th
“As the vanquished charwoman of time begins to shake-n-vac...”
— They really don’t make...
— They really don’t make...
Apr 27th
Listen
Jimmy Giuffre, Western Suite
Apr 26th
For my next trick...
I’m going to tuck into a bottle of rye and thank the living God that made me that this...
Apr 25th
Recommended reading.
Edward B. Fiske has a remarkable op-ed in the Times today about the legacy of “A Nation at...
Apr 25th
This quiz is probably easier than it should be, but there...
Apr 25th
Let's find the TSA guy who wanded Peggy...
Jesus, pal, don’t you know old white women deserve to zip right through? Peggy Noonan is...
Apr 25th
Listen
Apr 25th
I love how this jumps the margins. If,...
Apr 24th
Awesome snake-knife massacre tripped up...
SOUTH BEND, Ind. (AP) - Authorities in northern Indiana say they’ve detained a student in a...
Apr 24th
Too. Many. Jokes.
Apr 24th
Each time I’ve seen the logo that the Post is running...
Apr 24th
Fucking Thursdays
When you’re reduced to doing Andy Griffith material it’s a pretty good sign that...
Apr 24th
"Freebase enthusiast," on the other...
One of my colleagues just informed me that each time she sees someone from Gawker at a New York...
Apr 24th
Apr 24th
Dear Candidates
I will support whichever one of you promises to levy an extremely punitive tax on use of the vocoder...
Apr 24th
Noted without comment.
The “I Believe” license plate still has a way to go before it reaches the roads. The...
Apr 24th
Listen
Apr 24th
I saw Doree briefly last night and she looked terrible. I mean, not just bad, but devastated. She...
Apr 23rd
My heart goes out to everyone who has...
“What do you think, will Jessica make a good mom?”
Apr 23rd
This is the best product press release I’ve gotten all...
Apr 23rd
Great Moments In Creative Differences
marklisanti: “The trouble started Wednesday on the first of Caan’s two days of shooting the...
Apr 23rd
I'm no animal behaviorist...
but my theory is that he finally saw the actual movie.
Apr 23rd
Listen
You think I was kidding, motherfuckers? You think this is some kind of a game? I may post Tom Petty...
Apr 23rd
After using Tumblr semi-regularly now...
catbird:
Apr 22nd
Hillary's Numbers
I’m about as tired of the Pennsylvania primary story as you are, but we put a lot of research...
Apr 22nd
Hahahaha. That "enjoys" is a total "fuck...
“Responding to recent reports, New York Times Co. Chairman Arthur Sulzberger Jr. said Tuesday...
Apr 22nd
Sweet revenge.
New theory: Hillary Clinton actually ran for president to make Americans lose all respect for her...
Apr 22nd
And this time I mean it.
As I was hiding in the corner of my office this morning it occurred to me that I would rather die in...
Apr 22nd
I dunno, I would have gone with a different descriptor for...
Apr 22nd
I was actually way more upset about this until I watched the...
Apr 22nd
Listen
Apr 22nd
Fuck all y'all.
I just downloaded and listened to Van Halen’s “Standing On Top Of The World”...
Apr 22nd
Apr 21st
It's one of those "eh, who cares...
But seriously, does anyone get David Stockman jokes anymore? I’m old.
Apr 21st
“If Barack Obama or anyone else really cares to know what I...”
— New Wall Street Journal...
— New Wall Street Journal...
Apr 21st
From 1909: This is you handle a political scandal.
Apr 21st
It's Enough Already
William Kristol has a stupid-to-the-point-of-being-offensive op-ed in today’s Times which...
Apr 21st
We all know how boring other people’s dreams can be,...
Apr 21st
Using The Title "Sixteen Going On...
“Just like a highly paid dominatrix, the Celtics took complete control in the second half....
Apr 21st
America, America.
Apr 21st
Listen
Apr 21st
Against jargon.
READ AND LEARN: Unless you work for a record company or are the artist in question, do not refer to...
Apr 20th
Date rape reconsidered.
Everyone makes such a big deal about the rape part, but no one really focuses on the date aspect of...
Apr 20th
The great thing about Daily Mail...
“Teenager high on cannabis stabs girlfriend 32 times during bondage game after being wrongly...
Apr 20th
Also, he hates Papists.
David Cho is under the adorable misapprehension that New York City has more Lakers fans in it than...
Apr 20th
THIS IS MY NOSTALGIA TELL ME YOURS
Apr 20th
"Dear Picturesque Black Man, Please act...
“Obama has to prove to Americans that, despite his exotic background and multicultural looks,...
Apr 20th
Listen
Apr 20th
Listen
Apr 19th
Depressing realizations.
I look like Vince Vaughn.
Apr 18th
Nice catch.
Apr 18th
“A year ago, Chris Albrecht was on the receiving end of a...”
— It does sound a little...
— It does sound a little...
Apr 18th
Apr 18th
Jesus, when did this happen?
Apr 18th
Silly Krauts.
You can’t stop Clive Davis. The only way to destroy him is to plunge a cross woven entirely...
Apr 18th
And now he's dead.
“Mr. Vogel had been in the textile business into his 50s, but he was not a fanatic about...
Apr 18th
And no peeking ahead.
Please read this all the way through. I promise that it will be worth it.
Apr 18th
Listen
Apr 18th
It’s only surprising that Mr. Busta Move has resisted publicly celebrating his primitive and primal...
Apr 17th
And they should be. I photoshop better than this, and my...
Apr 17th
Seriously, everything's pissing me off...
This is probably way too strident, but whatever, fuck this day.
Apr 17th
I haven’t read the article, because, really, who gives...
Apr 17th
Al Gore sighed, people (eventually)...
So Obama got pasted last night. You can bitch and moan about how stupid the questions were—and they...
Apr 17th
People submit photos of themselves, and then Ms. James — who has an eye for hair despite having no...
Apr 17th
Listen
Apr 17th
My money's on either the breath or the...
My partner wants to call off the wedding because I have bulimia. He says he doesn’t want to be...
Apr 17th
The more that I look at this, the more that I think it might...
Apr 16th
Who will speak for the authentic working...
Are you fucking kidding me, you crazy solipsistic self-parodic HACK? Can you really, seriously,...
Apr 16th
You have to be really rich or really...
Jesus Christ, why is it always guys like this who are the public face for our side?
Apr 16th
Watch
I promise that this won’t turn into a Mitchell & Webb fansite or whatever, but Videogum...
Apr 16th
Listen
Apr 16th
Chesterfielded moonbeams in a song.
So, Scarlett Johansson’s cover of “Anywhere I Lay My Head”? Suprisingly not bad,...
Apr 15th
Where's the outrage?
On a section of McCain’s site called “Cindy’s Recipes,” you can find seven...
Apr 15th
Watch
The show can be wildly hit or miss, but when it hits, as it does here, BBC America’s That...
Apr 15th
The sad part? Deep down, I actually do believe this.
Apr 15th
“In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, I...
Apr 15th
Pulling Up The Ladder: How many layers of irony can you find...
Apr 15th
Also "Cocoon: The Return"
Claudette Colbert sparkles in the lead, but it’s the men who get all the long-overdue laughs. John...
Apr 15th
Culture spotter.
I was about thirteen when my dad introduced me to the music of Philip Glass, and like pretty much...
Apr 15th
Bless You Boys
I just prefer to think of it as extended spring training. Everything will be fine, do you hear me?...
Apr 15th
Apr 15th
Listen
Apr 15th
“Twelve going on 60 - that’s what people used to say...”
— Mark E. Smith
— Mark E. Smith
Apr 14th
“With the Wright business and now with this, the more nuanced...”
— Josh Marshall
— Josh Marshall
Apr 14th
Doing my bit.
“Now, as spring has sprung an our thoughts turn to warm weather, and fey meteorology, Radar...
Apr 14th
And that, my friends, is how you...
Original is pretty close, but I would have gone with Three Teen Girls Tear Torah Scroll Sacking...
Apr 14th
Monday morning late start.
Someone must have had a crazy weekend; they didn’t turn on the DRILLS until 9:13!
Apr 14th
Listen
Apr 14th
Sunday soundtrack.
Does the weekday/weekend distinction even make a difference anymore?
Apr 14th
“Visions of that greasy muff, which one could easily have...”
— Julie Burchill on Madonna
— Julie Burchill on Madonna
Apr 13th
Let's get competitive about this.
Suggested tee slogan: “My abortion was later term than yours.”
Apr 13th
Produced by Steve Albini
“Recidivist Transit Grinder” sounds like the title to some great grunge-era B-side.
Apr 13th
Watch
You know what would be awesome? If Ellen Page starred in a shot-for-shot remake of this, lip...
Apr 13th
Listen
Apr 13th
When they fire me, this is going to be...
[Scene: The Radaronline team is gathered at a local restaurant for a well-deserved lunch and 2-for-1...
Apr 11th
“Rehearsals suggest that Mr Kresnik’s...
Apr 11th
I've seen plenty of arguments as to why...
but this is by far the stupidest.
Apr 11th
Feist/Constantines: "Islands in the Stream"
Apr 11th
“Y’all seen this television ad on, where...”
— Sometimes I forget what a...
— Sometimes I forget what a...
Apr 11th
Life itself will always be more absurd...
WASHINGTON — He shot his hunting partner, but Vice President Dick Cheney apparently...
Apr 11th
Physician, heal thyself
Frank Kermode does not include in his discussion of the resurrection the gospel reference that gives...
Apr 11th
Yes! Suck it, bitches, I got “dykes” in there!
...
Apr 11th
Listen
Apr 11th
Ah, yes, the famous Latin word of.
Apr 10th
The Ohio Supreme Court on Wednesday overturned the death sentence of a man convicted of murder after...
Apr 10th
“Gore Vidal once said that you should never pass up an...”
— Troy Patterson over at Slate....
— Troy Patterson over at Slate....
Apr 10th
Even better? It’s a shot-for-shot remake of Spalding...
Apr 10th
Cechin: barack’s kinda got a cock-n-balls around his...
Apr 10th
E-I-E-I-OWTF?
The kind folks from the CW just sent me a promo DVD of the forthcoming reality series Farmer Wants a...
Apr 10th
Confidential to Paige.
She put out.
Apr 10th
We're still arguing over which one of us...
“Once again, Moe demonstrates that she is a very good (meta)journalist and that she has an...
Apr 10th
Watch
Words fail.
Apr 9th
Wazoo City
A number of linguists have written to say that the phrase is actually “up the wazoo.” I...
Apr 9th
Ad critics.
BALK: Why don’t you call around Montana, and see what does qualify as a normal rate for sex?...
Apr 9th
Damn, I gotta get me to Montana.
Apr 9th
Apr 9th
Just wondering.
Does anyone say “out the wazoo” anymore? Haven’t heard it in a while.
Apr 9th
Gimme Gimme Antifreeze
I was in Chinatown last night and found myself in need of cigarettes, having successfully...
Apr 9th
How will he ever console himself after...
“Among staff, particular grimaces were exchanged over the fact that former Off the Record...
Apr 9th
I actually do have a Saints jersey.
I just wanted to mention that.
Apr 9th
I should also credit Dr. Austin Nichols.
I want to thank everyone who offered their kind wishes or advice during my recent health “event.”...
Apr 9th
Rachael Ray inspires strong feelings in...
“I hate that cunt rachel ray with all my rage. No tits, fat ass, and sucky laugh. please die...
Apr 8th
Yeah, sure, now that he’s sold out. Of course...
Apr 8th
Apr 8th
While we're on the subject...
Perhaps my proudest moment writing Gawker happened when the muse of creativity graced me with this...
Apr 8th
How the magic happens.
One of the more difficult balancing acts we perform at Radar involves trying to maintain a certain...
Apr 8th
Holy fuck that took forever. I’m firing everyone,...
Apr 8th
This is much funnier if you imagine it...
“Becoming friends with people is a funny thing; it’s predicated on some seemingly irrational...
Apr 8th
Today at Radar.
Cho: do you think this hammering is better than the drilling? BALK: It’s a nice change of...
Apr 8th
"Great news, honey, we're getting our...
“Kate and Gerry McCann would be happy to take part in a televised reconstruction of the night...
Apr 8th
Uh, it seems pretty on-target to me.
Apr 8th
Aye Today
The worst part about jobs like mine is the omnipresent sense of dread: Today’s the day...
Apr 8th
If you look over here you’ll notice that we’re...
Apr 8th
In certain Eastern European countries parents use Mark...
Apr 8th
It wouldn't be much of a surprise to...
Infamous Republican hit man Roger Stone was directly involved in the downfall of...
Apr 8th
Watch
Take Two To Prevent 80’s Nostalgia
Apr 8th
Yeah, whatever.
She just loves that Kurt Andersen will no doubt broker the inevitable book deal.
Apr 7th
Lord knows I'm not gonna vote for him...
but I like John McCain a little more today than I did yesterday.
Apr 7th
Postcard from MY mom. "Subject: Very...
“…that if anything happens, you’ll yell out ‘I’m coming,...
Apr 7th
People, please. If I was really having a...
CHOIRE: go now CHOIRE: don’t go to st vincents CHOIRE: or cabrini CHOIRE: or beth israel....
Apr 7th
Report from the trenches.
So the tightness in my chest is still there and hasn’t gotten any better, and I’m still...
Apr 7th
There but for the grace of God go- oh,...
On my first day at Gawker a surprisingly chipper Liz Spiers IM’d me good luck wishes. I told...
Apr 7th
Charlton Heston Was The Thing With...
“He was the hawk. He soared. In fact, everything about him soared. His shoulders soared, his...
Apr 7th
That is one determined heart.
“A man who received a heart transplant 12 years ago and later married the donor’s widow...
Apr 7th
Let's Not Get Physical
It was right around the time when that Filipino prison video for “Thriller” broke big on...
Apr 7th
I will not let go of this joke.
Here’s the lede to the profile I wrote for the new issue of Rolling Stone: It’s a little...
Apr 7th
You KNOW you're the right audience for...
Got caught up on some of the magazines this weekend and came across this, in Wired: One of my...
Apr 7th
I just got one of these for the first time and I spent like...
Apr 7th
Really, New Yorker? ELEVEN pages on...
“In public, he has always seemed eager to please, even ebullient; and although his stardom has...
Apr 7th
Listen
Apr 7th
“[E]xplain to me why a man shouldn’t indulge in a bit...”
— Howard Jacobson. I’ve...
— Howard Jacobson. I’ve...
Apr 6th
It's like an "I'm with stupid" for the...
Companion tee for the “I was raped” shirt: “And I helped!”
Apr 4th
Fuck you, Adderall, I thought you were...
How did I get THAT fat?
Apr 4th
Misc. promo
“As long as I’ve got my health, and my millions of dollars and my gold house and my...
Apr 4th
And neu! he's dead.
Sorry. Klaus Dinger has passed. I’d reccomend ‘75, but, really, you can’t go wrong...
Apr 4th
Please celebrate the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr....
Apr 4th
Kausfiles 2028
I was never a fan of John Edwards. His sanctimony and faux-populism sent Democrats down the...
Apr 4th
It's probably where he learned to swear.
“While this young man was serving six years on active duty, Vice President Dick Cheney, who...
Apr 3rd
“I’d be more confident of satire’s power to hurt...”
— Matthew Parris
— Matthew Parris
Apr 3rd
"Is that a Fender Stratocaster in your...
or do you just have a cock shaped like a classic American electric guitar?”
Apr 3rd
I think Rutger Hauer ad-libbed this in...
“the entire time the calendar page is loading on your screen and the entire time you are...
Apr 3rd
Everyone always forgets about the...
This helps Hillary, right?
Apr 3rd
That $40K your folks spent on J-school...
“Celine Dion postponed a concert in the Chinese capital Beijing because the original venue was...
Apr 3rd
You have to get up pretty early to fool...
or at least not rely on the shrimp factory abortion jokes so heavily.
Apr 3rd
Signs the website you're reading doesn't...
#1
Apr 3rd
But seriously, we all agree the...
Co-worker: commenters on Jezebel were NOT THRILLED about the chick lit book covers. they were all...
Apr 3rd
The consensus among alexbalk.tumblr.com readers about my...
Apr 3rd
You know what I can't get enough of?...
“Tyler Brûlé just can’t seem to get enough of The Financial Times.”
Apr 3rd
Assemblyman Benjamin is obviously not a fan of deep-fried...
Apr 3rd
Seriously, if you heard them you'd...
As part of my tribute to José Napoleón Duarte, I stayed home yesterday, mostly to rock back and...
Apr 3rd
Seriously, it’s like he’s not even trying...
Apr 3rd
No one tell Doree.
She’ll be crushed.
Apr 3rd
Free to those who can afford it.
See, when you’re worth millions you don’t need to drop fifteen bucks on some book....
Apr 3rd
The sweet scent of decay.
There’s a bizarre constellation of acne on my forehead that looks like a right triangle with the...
Apr 3rd
This would be even better if you could...
“This work we do as bloggers is furtive and fumbling. Mostly casting about in the dark,...
Apr 3rd
Really, Sheryl Gay Stolberg? REALLY?
“The first hint that President Bush might be detached from the nation’s economic woes was in...
Apr 3rd
Listen
Apr 2nd
Old man on music, a continuing series.
Really like the new Black Keys. Am cautiously optimistic that the initial feelings I have about the...
Apr 2nd
Yeah, what he said!
“I agree with Anonymous (not verified)”
Apr 2nd
No, it's more of a shame thing.
Doree: “I’m not really sure why my working for Gawker should need to be...
Apr 2nd
Misc. promo.
It’s hard not to like Will Arnett; exciting news for Tina Brown obsessives.
Apr 2nd
The Kingdom and the Tower of Song
Apr 2nd
Do the collapse.
Today’s diet of ginger ale and saltines was brought to me by an throbbing ache in my stomach...
Apr 2nd
I don’t know what it says about me that I got this...
Apr 1st
Signs that you actually are retarded: you’re reading...
Apr 1st
Signs that the website you’re reading might think...
Apr 1st
The backstory here is that Doree asks me this question at...
Apr 1st
On the other hand...
It would be a lot easier to be sympathetic to these folks if they didn’t so immediately bring...
Apr 1st
Unrelated: Does anyone refer to the...
‘Our earnings, though high in absolute terms, need to be viewed in the context of the scale...
Apr 1st
Love this.
Read it.
Apr 1st
Back-of-the-envelope calculation.
I am currently getting the majority of my vitamins and minerals from Diet Coke Plus. That might...
Apr 1st
Too many moms...
Hi, Honey. I thought your hair was so pretty Saturday. Love, MomThere’s something absolutely...
Apr 1st
One of the most important things I learned from Choire Sicha...
Apr 1st
Watch
Okay, yeah, this is pretty awesome. [Via]
Apr 1st
Further advice from Spencer Pratt.
He’s on The Hills, you know.
Apr 1st
You say that like it's a bad thing.
“With the exception of a failed congressional bid in 2000, defeat has not formed a significant...
Apr 1st
Alex Balk Hates Fun
Here’s me tumbling about blogging about not posting any April Fool’s stuff. Does it get...
Apr 1st
Web M.D.
I’ve had this weird pain radiating down my right arm for the last two weeks. I’m just...
Apr 1st
Yup.
A black Californian in his 70s recalled his youth in an e-mail to me. When Calvin visited the South,...
Apr 1st
If you've ever stayed at a W, you're...
“Originally, officials considered turning the 1931 Italian Renaissance-style building on First...
Apr 1st
Hint: I don't either.
One of the items in here is mine: Can you guess which?
Apr 1st
Observations of extremely limited...
You can make yourself crazy complaining about being properly credited for an item. It’s been...
Apr 1st
Lonesome Cowboy Drill
Hopefully they’re building an insane asylum upstairs, because HOLY SHIT am I gonna need one by...
Apr 1st